Why I practice yoga & mindfulness episode 5049:
Mindfulness does not mean everything is super great and you should only focus on gratitude and other pleasant things. It has much to do with checking into that space that feels messy. Mindfulness sometimes means sitting with fears and doubt then digging deeply into a place of unattachment of labels “good” or “bad” and thinking clearly about what is happening RIGHT NOW. Sometimes it means asking yourself, “do I need anything to be okay RIGHT NOW or am I actually fine?” I have found that when I check-in, I am fine. My anxiety is not cured however, I have found this system helpful in preventing a panic attack and the desire to crawl into a hole. Failure to check-in is usually when I notice my emotions spiraling out of control and it’s only a matter of time before I notice because it is a practice. This practice gets easier. Personally, I start to notice my triggers and symptoms which is also extremely helpful, it is ALL useful information.
I am bringing this up because this is where I am today. I am using mindfulness because out of nowhere I feel overwhelmed and terrified often. Maybe even daily/nightly. Even as I am typing this I am biting the inside of my cheek because I am filled with tension (one of those symptoms I’ve talked about). Looking into the year 2019 I have no idea what is going to happen. I cannot plan for anything and it drives me absolutely insane, but I trust deeply that everything will be okay even in those moments of doubt and panic. I love control, I am a Virgo after all and that is not a bad thing. Right now, I can control if I am practicing self-care and mindfulness. I can control my breath and how I use my words both mentally and out loud. I can remind myself of past experiences out of my control that tuned out just fine.